Other than the gmail debacle, I thankfully didn't fall victim to anyone else's April Fool's jokes. Being aware that television, radio, and the internet are all in on such prankage, I did what any gullible girl would do and stayed away from them until I was home for the night. I think also not having been around the dudes in the band proved to be the best option for myself on such a day.
Tonight was really a lot of fun. I realized that after I came home from school and moved back in with my parents I haven't really gotten out that much. Not because I don't want to, I think mostly because I realized I don't have that many friends out here in the area in my 'position.' I mean I definitely know some awesome people, but I really only see the guys in the band on a regular basis, so I was genuinely excited about having the opportunity to meet up with some really great people that I knew, and didn't previously know.
I sort of feel like I've lost a lot of my social skills though over the past year though. I used to be so eloquent and so confident and I could put my thoughts together in an intelligent and cohesive fashion, and now I feel like I'm just scattered. It's been a hard year trying to figure out my life, where I'm headed, what I can do with only a part-time job and not a lot of money, that not being around in a social environment has become second nature. I'm much more used to not going out because I couldn't afford it and just playing music or painting in my room. I'm not really down on myself about it or anything, but I'm just hoping I can tap back into the 'college' me and get back with it again. I know people go through changes during difficult phases in their life, but I know that over the past 4 years of college I figured out who I wanted to be (and who I didn't), and I strived to be just that. On a personal level I finally became happy with myself, and I want to keep it going. I guess uncertainty can change that though, so I'm hoping I'll come around. Especially dealing with so much tension in the band setting over the past year or two... it's so hard to separate business from friendships. I tried as hard as I could but no matter what, when shitty things happen you never really get over them. We've gone over a lot of hurdles and I think the toll it's taken is just another reason I've dropped a few wrungs on the socialite ladder. I love meeting new people, and I love the friends I already have. I hope I can keep seeing them, because I cannot even explain how wonderful it was to leave the house and do something.
Tomorrow I wasn't told to come into work, so unless that changes I intend on getting 8 hours of sleep and spending the day making cupcakes for my mom's Ronald McDonald House event, doing yoga, and writing up some string arrangements for the tse show in May.
Happy April 2nd :)
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