tupper...where?

Tupperware

I'd have to say the most useless thing in my house would have to be the giant box of tupperware that I have waiting around under my bed for the day I move out of my parent's house. I'm not sure when I acquired it, or how I did for that matter. I believe at some point while I was in high school my mom pushed this giant box of what must be hundreds of small plastic containers of all sizes under my bed, and 5 years later (I went to college for 4 years and it remained untouched with the exception of maybe 3 that I took with me) it still resides back there, next to my sega genesis. Which I should take out sometime soon, now that I think about it. The Lion King and Aladdin totally ruled. But yeah... a ton of tupperware. On the glorious day I become a true adult, off to face the world in whatever small apartment it is that I can afford, I will come prepared with sealed compartments and lids for all sorts of perishable goods. And who knows, whenever that moment comes, I can see myself finding it and forgetting about even having that many tupperware. It will be a great moment.

Dogtown. I want to go to there.

Well, due to the fact that I am a recent college graduate and 'starving artist,' most of the restaurants that I go out to eat at (if I do go out to eat) are pretty darn inexpensive. And, if you know me at all, you know I love food, so I really could name off about ten different places between Syracuse (Stronghearts), Rochester, Fredonia (dude I'd hit up good old Erie Dining Hall any day of the week), NYC (Red Bamboo), Nashville (Mellow Mushroom), and Memphis (Deja Vu Creole). But this place is just fun. I know when I go to Rochester when the boy is living out there we tend to frequent it all too much (is that really a bad thing?). If you're in the mood for some comfort food in a unique way, check out Dogtown.

I was just giving directions to this place to my sister and Aaron since they're heading out to Rochester, so it's been on my mind. One of the only places I know of to serve the famous Rochester 'garbage plate' (mac salad, fries, coleslaw, burgers, hash browns, hot dogs, etc all in the same plate, layered on each other) for vegetarians and vegans. Given I rarely do the garbage plate (so much grease!), all of their specialty hot dogs are named after specific breeds of dogs, and they are SO GOOD. I usually get a bernese mountain dog (a veggie dog with mushrooms, swiss cheese and spicy mustard) and their sweet potato fries (which are absolutely amazing). Their prices are relatively inexpensive, you would without a doubt spend less than ten bucks to fill yourself up. The overall feel of the place is pretty nice, very small but friendly, and with a lot of pictures of dogs around. The perfect place to go out to eat on a random afternoon or evening.

When you can't find the words yourself...

A Color of the Sky

by Tony Hoagland

Windy today and I feel less than brilliant,

driving over the hills from work.

There are the dark parts on the road

when you pass through clumps of wood

and the bright spots where you have a view of the ocean,

but that doesn’t make the road an allegory.

I should call Marie and apologize

for being so boring at dinner last night,

but can I really promise not to be that way again?

And anyway, I’d rather watch the trees, tossing

in what certainly looks like sexual arousal.

Otherwise it’s spring, and everything looks frail;

the sky is baby blue, and the just-unfurling leaves

are full of infant chlorophyll,

the very tint of inexperience.

Last summer’s song is making a comeback on the radio,

and on the highway overpass,

the only metaphysical vandal in America has written

MEMORY LOVES TIME

in big black spraypaint letters,

which makes us wonder if Time loves Memory back.

Last night I dreamed of X again.

She’s like a stain on my subconscious sheets.

Years ago she penetrated me

but though I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed,

I never got her out,

but now I’m glad.

What I thought was an end turned out to be a middle.

What I thought was a brick wall turned out to be a tunnel.

What I thought was an injustice

turned out to be a color of the sky.

Outside the youth center, between the liquor store

and the police station,

a little dogwood tree is losing its mind;

overflowing with blossomfoam,

like a sudsy mug of beer;

like a bride ripping off her clothes,

dropping snow white petals to the ground in clouds,

so Nature’s wastefulness seems quietly obscene.

It’s been doing that all week:

making beauty,

and throwing it away,

and making more.



Off to bed.

Be nice, darn it!

I think it's funny that this was a prompt, because this whole situation has been on my mind a lot lately. Not in extreme amounts - but it still just kind of rubs me the wrong way. I definitely feed off of other people's vibes, so here you have it, my pet peeve of offensiveness.

When friends don't act like friends
One of the biggest things that I've realized since moving back to Syracuse is how important true friends are. That being said, I've also realized that I expect and anticipate that my friends (new, old, or otherwise) will treat me the way that I treat them. I've found that it isn't necessarily fair to assume, but still, I think common decency is severely underrated these days. There is nothing more off-putting to me than to feel like you don't really connect with people, especially people who you think are your friends. Even moreso, I truly believe that in order to have friends you need to be one. When I meet new people in a group of friends and get really hot and cold vibes from them, especially in the wake of me proactively trying to be their friend, it really only makes me feel like I deserve better. I don't view that in a pretentious or arrogant way on my behalf, just that everyone deserves to be treated fairly by their friends. I'm really the kind of person that will find someone I don't know, introduce myself to them, and then talk with them for a while; I like making people feel like they belong somewhere. If I'm trying to be your friend - key word here trying - maybe things just aren't working out. My best friends are the ones that I didn't have to exert any effort to feel wanted.

TGI...T?

So lately I've felt as though I've been in a giant fog of work, sleep, repeat. I haven't really established a real 'schedule' at work, I just kind of go in in the morning, and leave when I'm done. So it's made for a few long days, and I really don't mind it at all. I just realize after doing it for 5 days, that I'm exhausted. Especially when something usually follows work directly, and I don't get home until it's past my bedtime.

But it's all fine and dandy, because we're recording, things are moving along, and I have cuteoverload.com or fmlife to make me smile on command. Seriously, how could you not forget about being tired if you see this guy?

I've also been doing a lot of writing lately, which I'm totally pumped about. I just wish I had more time to do it. But I definitely have been productive on the drive to and from work. Most of my ideas come to me when I rarely expect it, and so it really should come as no surprise to me that I need to keep paper and a pen on me at all times.

Also, we have those shows coming up, and our friend Cam from Gonculator will be playing drums with us for them. We'll be practicing with him this weekend, and we're all really excited about that too. We really respect him as a drummer, and he's a really awesome guy.

And finally! Warm weather is coming! Especially after today... 40 something degrees and absolutely shitty. Oh, New York. Tomorrow it should be super warm, which makes me look forward to the weekend.

I think we may be heading out of the studio shortly, so that means Grey's Anatomy, and then bed for this lady.

Feeling kind of out of the circle lately with some people, I think I just miss having some best friends around here. It's hard feeling like you belong somewhere where you're constantly trying to figure out just where that is.

Until then, my future dog:

...I'm realizing I say "really" a lot. We'll work on that, starting tomorrow.

oh my.

I am so exhausted lately, but I really haven't updated in a while. I really have just been working, and when I'm not working I have been putting some violin tracks down on Gonculator's upcoming cd, which is amazing. I'm pretty darn happy to be doing it, too.

Needless to say today I worked, then went straight to the studio, then came home and baked two cupcake cakes for my mother's weekend convention that she has (and is leaving for tomorrow). I really could use a few extra hours. But we have two really awesome shows coming up, and I go back to Nashville in a little over 2 weeks, so I'm constantly looking forward and thinking that soon we'll be playing out again, and then I'll be on vacation :)

Love Hill in Nashville, TN

I think one of my all-time favorite places outdoors would be Love Hill in Nashville, TN. I am a big outdoorsy kind of person, but in terms of just being outside and taking everything in, this place really makes me happy.

Just about every time I visit Nashville, Michael and I always try and spend some time at Love Hill. It isn't an incredibly well-known part of Nashville, but it's basically a small plot of land at the top of a residential development where you can see the entire Nashville skyline at eye-level. It's an amazingggg view, and we've tried many times to catch a sunset out there, but we're always about 5 minutes too late. Regardless, there is nothing like that place, and there are never too many people around. Hopefully we'll have a nice picnic there in a few weeks when I'm down there again.

Oh, for three more hours

With an extra three hours, I would most definitely split them evenly between getting more time to write and sleeping. You can never get enough sleep, and when I don't get my 8 hours I certainly feel it in the morning (cough, like today).

Does anybody else think those match.com ads are awkward?

...they almost make me feel self-conscious. Like I'm being watched. By that dude who's pretending to be looking at you through a webcam.

Anyways, my day has been CRAZY today. I feel like I've fit too much into one day, and yet I haven't really accomplished all that much. I went to work this morning to find that I wouldn't be in the office and would instead be working outside putting plants out and watering them (and I didn't really dress the part considering I had other errands to run today). But I did get a heads up I would be out there right before I was leaving, so I managed to wear those fantastic AA socks I mentioned in a previous blog, only to be reminded after work that I didn't bring a change of socks. So yep, they're still on.

I worked until 1, ran across the street to a dr. appointment (I changed doctors; I need to have a 'meet and greet,' then a nurse appointment, THEN a physical... all on three separate appointments. Oh well, at least it's close to work), then I made my way to Fayetteville to get a violin bow rehaired. I made my appointment with them at 3 because they close at 5 and I wanted to make sure they had enough time to do it. So, in the meantime I decided I'd go shopping, because I had nothing better to do and I want to get a new dress for Michael's graduation. Now, if any of you know me well, I am not really a shopping kind of girl. I like having a plan of action, a list of stores I need to go to, and then get it over with as soon as possible. This was not the case today, as I had to wait for my bow to be done... so I took the Shoppingtown Mall by storm. And let me tell you, it's a pretty sketchy and desolate place with not a whole lot of options. I actually found a nice one though, only to discover they don't have it in my size, which creates a whole different conflict: that I would need to go to Carousel to find out they have it in my size. Which... is much, much worse. I avoid that mall like the plague. Unless I'm going to see a movie, in which case i love it because of the awesome seats.

So yeah, I'm random at the moment because I've just downed a large coffee at panera, waiting for Jon and Tim to get out here for sushi! I'm bumming that I guess a lot of other people couldn't make it out tonight, but I figured I'd still head out because I was here anyways. So yeah, this is me wasting time before I can eat some good dinner. I went to... all the stores in this vacinity as well. No luck. Many thanks to Panera for wonderful coffee and free wifi. And also to my GPS, which I have successfully mounted to my windshield and just looks marvelous. I shall never be lost again.

Oh, to be in Germany

Over this past summer, my band and I were asked to do a tour of military bases through Armed Forces Entertainment. We were scheduled to play at Baumholder, Manheim, the Edelweiss Lodge and Resort, Grafenwoehr, and Spangdahlem. With only 1 day off. It was pretty much a dream vacation, and I was just looking through some pictures I took the other day. First off, to be able to play for military personnel and their families was a huge honor, and we made so many friends and still keep in touch with many of them. But besides that, it was our first trip to Europe, and we traveled to and from everywhere in a tour bus with the most amazing driver who allowed us to make as many stops in as many places as we wanted.



The architecture, the history, the castles, everything. It was such an amazing experience, and the only down side (if you could call it that) was that we only had one day in every town we stayed in, and with playing a show every night we really only got about 2 hours of sightseeing a day at best. We did, however, have one day in Garmish, and it was easily the most amazing day of vacationing I have ever had. We all got up early to walk into the town, and we shopped, took in the sights, and got an amazing lunch at the coffeeshop. Then we rented bikes from the hotel we were staying at and rode through the Alps. It was nothing short of a dream day.



I hope to go back there again with a couple of weeks to do nothing but sight see. And I will most definitely spend more than 4 months trying to learn German before I go back.

Getting stresseddddd

Okay okay okay. So I know that I don't work full time, and I know that I'm doing the thing where I'm "in a band," but I am just going to throw out there that it so doesn't mean that I'm not incredibly busy and stressed. As a matter of fact, because of how uncertain one's future can be being in a band, I'd say I have quite a fair amount of stress to deal with on a regular basis.

I've been going nuts sending out as many emails as I can to follow up with people I met from SXSW, and I must say so far I've had a few responses, but I'm not really expecting to hear back from many for a while. Timing is very difficult when sending emails out to people, and I know that many of them had an influx of messages sent after the festival, so I thought I'd wait it out for a bit and see where that landed me. I suppose we'll just have to wait and see.

We are also working on another tour with Armed Forces Entertainment to head out to Southwest Asia in Septemberish, and there is a TON of paperwork associated with that. I'm so excited about it though, and we love touring with them and having the opportunity to play for the troops. Just with all those little 'bumps' in the road lately, trying to get everything in order is just that much harder at the moment.

We're heading back into the studio tonight, and thankfully I'm about over being sick (I think) to the point where I can sing again. Yay! Gonculator will be in the studio from Wednesday to Wednesday the following week so we're really trying to wrap up these preproduction tracks before then. Then we'll be PRACTICING for our May 1st and 6th shows, and gearing up for what's ahead with AFE. In the meantime I hope to be working the rest of the week, and I'll be heading out to Fayetteville on Wednesday to get my violin bow rehaired (and maybe get some sushi if everyone's still planning on it?).

Now, onto the treadmill to Gossip Girl my troubles away.

Oh, and I got this sent to me in an email from my boyfriend:

I'd like to thank him for providing the comic relief to my girlyness and stress. I don't know why this made me laugh as hard as it did, but there you go.

Putting it all out there

Well, a whole lot has happened over the past week. I happily discovered Plinky though, so that has aided in me skirting a lot of issues and just posting fun blog prompts on the web :)

Kaleena and I have been down with some seasonal cold that's going around, so unfortunately we haven't really been able to do a whole lot of recording. And, as I'm sure some of you know, we are currently sans drummer for the next lil bit (though don't worry, we have all our bases covered and have made a lot of headway. Our album will still be out as soon as physically possible, and we'll still be performing with a drummer). Basically we've been really busy trying to work around a few bumps in the road, but there's nowhere to go but up, so that's what we're trying to do. It's Aaron's birthday today, and we'll be recording tomorrow so hopefully that will be a fun birthday-ish hang; hopefully he's feeling better as well.

It's been a pretty interesting span of time to say the least, and I guess a lot of it is just more 'growing up' lessons. Between all the internal stuff that's been going on, realizing I've been out of school almost a year already (!!), and just trying to further analyze myself and where I'm going the old noggin has been real cloudy. Totally no fun. But, like I said, we have a lot to look forward to, and although at this point I'm kind of getting used to things not working out I'm trying to become more of an optimist. Things can only not go your way for so long, right? Here's to having things change next week, pretty pretty please.

In the meantime, I've been doing more work at Hafner's (more grateful than ever that I have such an awesome job), and have been really trying to just focus on this release. It needs to happen, and it needs to happen soon. I'm so confident in the music and the band as we stand, and I feel so strongly that we can do some pretty awesome things. We just need a few more pieces to fall into place. It's so hard not having that control that you did when you were at school; being able to want to get things done, and then do them yourself. But, this isn't a college town anymore, it's the real world. This is me putting on my big girl pants and staring the world in the face all sassy-like.

Until then, it's just me and a whole lot of pieces, but every day I think I do my best at shuffling them around to see where and when they might come together. Oh, and until then, I'm sick of cliches and promises. Now I'm done being angsty. Let the Plinkys commence once again.

A haiku about Twilight

awkward vampire love

he called her 'spider monkey'

rather watch paint dry

A reading recommendation from someone who doesn't read nearly as much as she should

Unfortunately I'm stuck at the computer all morning while I try and sort out some band-internet web site-age, so until that gets all settled and I can work out Plinky is keeping me occupied. After graduating I decided to start reading more, as I really only read what I had to at school because of how busy I was. I got this book for Christmas and had it read in a matter of days afterward.

I have a thing for nonfiction books (maybe I just have a short attention span these days), and I've really been getting into books of essays. I must honestly admit that I was first drawn to this book at a Barnes and Nobles based solely on the title and cover (kind of embarrassed by that, but hey, everything happens for a reason, and if you know me, you know I like flowers and cake. so it was hopeless from the start.) But seriously, this book is great. Sloane Crosley tells a bunch of humorous and obscure stories throughout her life, and focuses on the absurdity of them all. Her attempts at trying to rationalize such weirdness only adds to the humor, and her writing style makes this book a very quick read. This book truly makes you appreciate the randomness and strangeness that accompanies every day life, and embrace it for what it is and laugh about it.

Please get All Summer Long out of my head

I'm sure there are more than these songs that I would dwell on if I had more time to think about them, but I think it's safe to say these are the songs I absolutely despise at this point in time. These are the songs I would totally give the cold shoulder to and not invite to my birthday party if I had the opportunity and means to.

All Summer Long by Kid Rock

I don't really think this song needs too much of an explanation as to why it shouldn't exist. Besides the fact that it's just a real butt-rock anthem for sketchyness, he didn't even create anything new except for sub-par lyrics to "Sweet Home Alabama" and "Werewolves of London." Because of this, Robert James Ritchie (yes, that's his real name. three first names. Rob Jim Rich) has sufficiently ruined three songs for me altogether, partially because when they all start I don't know what song it is. Oh! And how come it's still being played on the radio?? On the days when I forgot my ipod and was forced to listen to the radio to and from work, I was praying for fall so that the song couldn't be aired anymore, and sure enough... it's still getting played. It probably will still be played until summer, when it will once again seem relevant. Ugh.

All Songs by In Grocery Stores

I used to work in a grocery store for a few years, and all that muzak-ey, motownish stuff that you're so used to hearing in them plagues me to this day. Every time I'm anywhere where it's played I get a pit in my stomach. Yeah, it's kind of weird, but I really didn't like my job. It ruined The Eagles for me. Shame.

That's So You by The Rocket Summer

This one is more a personal attachment one. Given, I listen to this song/artist/album now and wonder what it was that made me even want to listen to more than 30 seconds of it anyway, but yeah. Its one of those nostalgic things that brings me back to when I didn't know what I knew now, wasn't as strong of a person or as sure of myself, and frankly isn't a time I care to reminisce on. Oh, the music we listened to in jr. high and high school.

Lazy day

Since I didn't have to work today I figured I would sleep in and take it easy to shake whatever cold it is I've been on the brink of getting. I have a feeling it's just one of those 'change in season' colds so I'm hoping I can cut it short with oj and lots of sleep. But I woke up and just knew I was going to have to kick my butt if I had any intentions of being productive. I'm not feeling awful, just not real great. Just... tired.

So I spent about 4 hours from baking to cleanup on the cupcakes for my mom's Ronald McDonald luncheon thing, I think they turned out pretty decent, couldn't give them the old taste test but I'm sure they'll be good:


Other than that, I took a nap, and had Michael give me a wake-up call to which I don't remember answering but was told I just picked up the phone and said "I want to go back to sleep." So, I did. Then I had a late dinner and did some string arrangements for the acoustic show in May. Not sure if they'll be used, but I always love trying new stuff out. Here's a view of the room studio, or the 'roodio.' My ottoman makes for a very wonderful desk:


Now I'm heading to bed, netflix wonderfulness to ensue. Friday tomorrow!

Just something that makes me smile

Everything about this commercial seems perfect. And actually, all the Bravia commercials are pretty sweet. But this one just puts me in a good mood.

If I had to be stuck in an elevator, I would appreciate if it were with...

1. Michael
Well, I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. It would be a lot nicer being stuck in an elevator with him than being stuck in an elevator without him. Plus, knowing elevators and their track record for having no cell phone service, I wouldn't be able to call or let him know I'd be a while. And I'm sure we'd look back on being stuck in an elevator together for x period of time and laugh at some point.

2. Clark Kent
...It definitely wouldn't be the worst person to get stuck in an elevator with. He'd play it off like he was scared, then next thing I'd know, we wouldn't be stuck in an elevator.

3. Ben Gibbard
I really don't think I'd ever be able to meet and/or have a conversation at length with him unless something of this nature happened. Plain and simple, I want to meet that man.

4. Myself
I know that might sound weird, but I've been stuck in an elevator before with about ten other girls on a lacrosse tournament. We all crammed ourselves - and our gear - into an elevator to get stuck after ascending one floor. After that, if I were to ever get stuck in an elevator again I would appreciate having room to move (having no room makes the claustrophobia and anxiety of the collective elevator a whole lot worse).

I survived April 1st with the majority of my dignity

Other than the gmail debacle, I thankfully didn't fall victim to anyone else's April Fool's jokes. Being aware that television, radio, and the internet are all in on such prankage, I did what any gullible girl would do and stayed away from them until I was home for the night. I think also not having been around the dudes in the band proved to be the best option for myself on such a day.

Tonight was really a lot of fun. I realized that after I came home from school and moved back in with my parents I haven't really gotten out that much. Not because I don't want to, I think mostly because I realized I don't have that many friends out here in the area in my 'position.' I mean I definitely know some awesome people, but I really only see the guys in the band on a regular basis, so I was genuinely excited about having the opportunity to meet up with some really great people that I knew, and didn't previously know.

I sort of feel like I've lost a lot of my social skills though over the past year though. I used to be so eloquent and so confident and I could put my thoughts together in an intelligent and cohesive fashion, and now I feel like I'm just scattered. It's been a hard year trying to figure out my life, where I'm headed, what I can do with only a part-time job and not a lot of money, that not being around in a social environment has become second nature. I'm much more used to not going out because I couldn't afford it and just playing music or painting in my room. I'm not really down on myself about it or anything, but I'm just hoping I can tap back into the 'college' me and get back with it again. I know people go through changes during difficult phases in their life, but I know that over the past 4 years of college I figured out who I wanted to be (and who I didn't), and I strived to be just that. On a personal level I finally became happy with myself, and I want to keep it going. I guess uncertainty can change that though, so I'm hoping I'll come around. Especially dealing with so much tension in the band setting over the past year or two... it's so hard to separate business from friendships. I tried as hard as I could but no matter what, when shitty things happen you never really get over them. We've gone over a lot of hurdles and I think the toll it's taken is just another reason I've dropped a few wrungs on the socialite ladder. I love meeting new people, and I love the friends I already have. I hope I can keep seeing them, because I cannot even explain how wonderful it was to leave the house and do something.

Tomorrow I wasn't told to come into work, so unless that changes I intend on getting 8 hours of sleep and spending the day making cupcakes for my mom's Ronald McDonald House event, doing yoga, and writing up some string arrangements for the tse show in May.

Happy April 2nd :)

2009 Internet Fools' Day - or - Gullibles Coming Out Day

So, I logged on to gmail this morning before I went to work and saw the tab 'New! Gmail Autopilot.' I don't usually do anything fancy with my gmail (sometimes I'll add a vacation automatic message, and I changed my background screen to display the weather of Syracuse (...and it's nearly always wrong.) ) But I decided to check it out because it sounded kind of interesting. The link took you to a REALLY detailed screen explaining this program that could respond to all of your emails appropriately without you ever having to read them. It came with all of these absolutely ridiculous settings like the degree of capitalization and typos you'd like gmail to reply with. It was nuts. And it said it could keep a conversation going with up to 3 replied messages. I was so intrigued and confused and mad at people for allowing technology to take place of human interaction even further.

Then I realized it's April Fool's. Yep.